Saturday, October 22, 2005

Expounding on My Concept of Love and Relationships

As I sit here past midnight, in my little cubicle space at work, I decided to resurrect my blog from the dead for this special note I wanted to make (as I was thinking) about the moral basis of my theory of relationships. There is a very crucial difference between what I wish to promote as my theory of relationships and what gets passed out as "polyamory" or "open" relationships. The moral necessities of my theory are based on Objectivist ethics: 1) Personal integrity should be the hallmark of one's character. Integrity subsumes honesty, and honesty means never faking reality. 2) In relationships, as in other areas of life, there is no room for wilfull, deliberate and/or pernicious deceit. This connects with honesty, in that if there is any form of uncertainty, it should be brought out into the open. Any instance of wilful repression of doubt or faking of certainty is an instance of being deceitful and is compromising on your integrity. 3) In my theory of relationships, it is IMMORAL to demand from another any actions, deeds, services, emotions, feelings, etc. unless it is under the context of mutual exchange or arises voluntarily (in which case, there are no demands or obligations being made upon anyone). 4) Flowing from the above idea of no obligations, all relationships should involve individuals who consciously and freely CHOOSE to enter into a relationship of their choice without any coercion or obligations, they should NOT be expected or obligated to REMAIN in that relationship against their will, and no promises to that effect should be extracted from them. This also extends to the area of consensual engagement in a relationship by individuals intellectually capable of giving such consent without obligation or coercion. 5) Free individuals are independent individuals. They are an end in themselves. All their pursuits should eventually lead to their own personal goals. No one should be in pursuit of the goals of another individual, nor should they expect another person to pursue their goals for them. Independence and interdependence -- not dependence -- are the signs of a healthy relationship. Goals and values can be shared, and the hierarchy of importance of personal and mutual goals or values should be assessed together. 6) Regardless of the number of individuals in a relationship or regardless of the number of relationships one is involved in, the moral integrity of the individual is NOT breached unless any of the above principles are violated. For example, an individual could be involved in any number of relationships as long as there is a clear assessment of mutual goals and values that are communicated openly with all persons involved, they all maintain perfect honesty and integrity in the matter, they commit no wilful act of deceit against any person, and they do not obligate anyone in any way to assent or refuse to any act whatsoever. That is the essence of my theory on relationships. I feel marriage, vows, enforced monogamy, etc. are all simply meaningless. Infact, if one really thinks about it, surveying all the cultures of the world today, marriages that have a higher incidence of ending in divorce typically arise in cultures and societies that also have a higher/healthier sense of rights, values, dignity, and responsibility. It seems like societies that infact have LOWER divorce rates are the ones that are mostly culpable for the grossest violations of human rights, ethics, and morality. Their societies are typically unhealthy and repressive of individuals. Eg. of low divorce high ethical violations and civil indecencies: India, China, Bulgaria, Poland, Italy, etc. Eg. of high divorce rates and low human rights violations: United States of America. P.S. I am now done. So, this blog is AGAIN officially dead until further notice. P.P.S. Hey, if Jesus could raise Lazarus from the dead only so that he died again one more time... so can I with this blog! So, don't complain!

4 Comments:

Blogger Semperviva said...

in other words- this blog is officially dead til futher notice
OR

nothing will be posted until something is posted

10/22/2005 03:57:00 PM  
Blogger innommable said...

It's not really dead... More like it's on holiday, or on sabbatical.

;-)

10/24/2005 01:50:00 AM  
Blogger Semperviva said...

LOL i miss jerry :(

10/27/2005 03:31:00 PM  
Blogger Semperviva said...

a sabbatical aye?


you mean the jewish sacrificial practice?? lol, interesting...

10/27/2005 03:32:00 PM  

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